Marital/Mother Problems?

I have been married 7 years now. My husband and I have had some pretty rocky times in our relationship. Mostly just bad arguments. He is not physically abusive but calls me the most horrible names when he is very angry. Please understand that he is always that way and not just to me. My mother has basically given me the choice of leaving him or losing her because she hates him. We have three children together and he is really good to them. He does yell at them alot when they are misbehaving. I also do this though and can't hold it against him. We have talked about it and decided to try and improve our patience and not fly off the handle so quickly. I don't want to break up my marriage but I also don't want to lose my mother over this. She is even threatening to move several states away because she says she cannot bear to watch the way he treats me and the kids. I know he can get rather noisy but he has never physically hurt anyone. It's just his way of blowing off steam.